Life in Reminiscence
by LadyKRedzz
Summary: As she sit alone in her room ,By the window with their lamp Lit as usual way ...Kitty, Reminises back over the years...
1. Chapter 1

**Life in Reminiscence **

Usual Disclaimer: Just taking our friends out to play, will put them back when Done!

Pt.1

Standing looking in the full length mirror, squirming and fidgeting more then my mother would have liked, while she continued to perfectly place matching ribbons and bows in my long red curls. To the ruffled and lace dress she insisted I wear, to the afternoon brunch with the family, when I would have much rather been out in the yard playing hide and seek with some of the neighborhood children. But as Mother and Auntie always saw fit to remind me, that was not befitting a young lady.

I was to learn this, and many other things, that they insisted I would understand much better as I got older. To learn some of these things, Mother's Auntie seems to think I should be enrolled in a proper girls school. And with Mother's health not being... Well, let's just say Mother agreed. It was just Mother and I.

Father had been gone for quite some time now. I never really remembered him being around. See Father, well Father was a gambling man, always chasing the next best deal. That next good game, hand of poker. The next one was always going to be the one. Mother's family was always against their marriage. It only became worse when I came along. Even my grandfather turned his back on her.

So, off to St. Anne's I went. St. Anne's was a Seminary School for Girls. It was to teach us to become proper young ladies, teach us all the social graces. I was there until until….

Early one morning Sister Mary Katherine woke me. "Kathleen, my dear. Wake up. I need to speak with you. This is very important. Come, child, someone is here to see you."

Wiping my eyes, "To see me? My mother? Oh, Mother is here?"

Shaking her head, "No, Child, not your mother. Your father."

Looking surprised, "My father?"

When I looked up there in the doorway, stood a tall man, "Hello, my Kitty."

"Well, Mr. Russell, I'll leave you two so you can talk." Sister Mary Katherine had said as she left the room.

"Father, why are you here? I thought Mother was coming."

"Kitty, darling, I need to talk to you. I have something to tell you." And from his expression I knew it wasn't good.

Backing up, "What? What's wrong? Where is my mother?"

"Now, Kitty, darling, listen to me. Annalise, your mother was feeling poorly and the doctor just couldn't seem to make her well."

"Where is she? I want to see her." I insisted.

"You can't, my dear. She's gone."

I stood frozen. Numb!

"Now, Kitty, I need you to pack up your things. You'll have to come with me."

"WHY? Why do I have to come with you?"

"I'm your father." He said. "And you can't stay here any longer. The family has cut you off."

Still numb from the news, I did what my father had told me to do. With no idea what was going to become of me. I knew nothing else but LaRogue Manor, St. Anne's and New Orleans.

After leaving 's, it wasn't but a very short time. Father took me to meet a friend of his, Pan. Panacea Sikes. She lived in this elaborate gambling house. She was something else. Before I knew it, father was gone and I was left there with Pan. She said she was going to take good care of me. She gave me a place to sleep, food to eat, made sure I always had clean petticoats and a starched kerchief. Pan always said that was important for a young lady. It was while living there that I learned a lot about 'The art of Poker' as well as my business. Pan was unique, to say the least. Father didn't return.

I was, oh, about seventeen years old when I met a gambler. Cole Yankton. He was good to me, took care of me, so I decided to go away with him. We traveled across the country, then I realized he was good to a lot of other girls too. He would get locked up and I would work in gambling houses and saloons to bale him out. Then he eventually ran off with another girl. Broke my heart. So I decided to make my way back to New Orleans, working in different towns along the way, when I had to, to make ends meet.

And then one day, one miserable cold, rainy day, I was so tired and hungry. The stage pulled into a dirty little cow town. I wanted out of that stage so bad, but when I looked at all those ugly buildings… I was down to my last forty dollars, it couldn't have taken me much further, but you couldn't have paid me to stay. (Smiling at the thought) If I had only known?

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Life in Reminiscence Conclusion

Pt.2

I had waded across the muddied street to the café, figured since I had to wait a bit before the stage pulled out again, I'd get me some breakfast and hot coffee. Sitting myself down in a corner seat, hurrying through my meal, suddenly a man walked in. A Big Man. He was the biggest man I had ever seen in my entire life. He sat down across the room from me. He had the most beautiful blue eyes. Umm… And boy could he eat. He ate the biggest breakfast I ever saw. (Laughing at the memory)

I couldn't help but wonder who this man was. Just something about him. I guess my curiosity got the best of me and I was sort of tired of traveling and short on money and all, so I decided to stay a while. So… That's what I did.

I finished my breakfast, by that time, the rain had stopped. I figured I could take a look see around town. I couldn't believe I had decided to stay in this dirty little cow town, but something about this big blue-eyed cowboy who caught my eye…

Well, of course, he didn't notice me. How could he? He was too busy eating all that food.

I made my way around town, slowly, wondering if I was making a big mistake. Tried stopping at several places looking for work, with no luck. Then, as I walked along the boardwalk, just outside a saloon called the Long Branch, I tripped on the step and broke my heel. "Damn!"

As I sat on the edge of the step, a soft voice, "Now, now, young lady. What seems to be the problem?"

When I looked up an elderly gentleman was standing over me. "Oh, I just broke my shoe. That's all."

"Well now, here, let me help you up and let's see what we can do to help the situation."

"Well, thank you."

And he reached out a hand to me. "My name is Doc Adams. My friends call me Doc." He had a rather kind smile under a sinister looking mustache.

"Well, Doctor Adams, my name is Kitty. Kitty Russell. My friends call me Kitty."

"Well, Miss Kitty, would it be fitting if I were to offer you something to drink? And then we can see about your shoe."

"That sure sounds good and I thank you." I saw the saloon and suggested we go in there.

The doctor wasn't sure but agreed. There weren't many people inside. He seemed to know the man working at the bar. His name was Bill, Bill Pence. "Bill, this here is Miss Kitty Russell. Can we get a couple of drinks?"

The doctor and I sat and talked a bit. I explained that I had just come in on the stage and was planning on staying and was in need of a job but wasn't having much luck.

Then the doctor suggested I speak to Bill Pence about working at the Long Branch. He had been looking for help.

But I explained to Bill, I wanted to work on the main floor, card games, the bar and if he needed I was good with figures. He agreed. So I was hired. And then I went and got myself a room at the Dodge House.

Within a few days, I found out that the big blue-eyed cowboy that had got my attention in the café, was the law in this here town. He wore a big badge and this badge was his life, his mistress, his wife. What was I getting myself into? But there was just something… something I couldn't explain, couldn't control, drawing me to him.

Before long, we met. Doc introduced us. He tried to tell him he needed to meet me. I think even Doc knew in some way, even back then, that we had some connection. We would talk, our conversation came so easy, I felt I could tell Matt everything, anything, and he to me. We would sit for hours late at night, sometimes walk.

Eventually we'd go on long picnics down by Spring Creek. This was our special place. Once our relationship became intimate, we would make love by the creek bed for hours. It was our time away from the town folks. That was the way things had to be.

I agreed, because of Matt's job. He feared for my life and safety. And over the years in some way this proved to be true. But…

Then again, we didn't do such a great job with being discreet. We were the "Worst best kept secret in Dodge." Everyone knew we were a couple, that I was the Marshal's woman and he was my man. But we continue the ruse. I love him and I know he loves me. But there can never be marriage and a family as long as he wears a badge.

Matt would give his life for me and I for him, just as we would give our lives for any one of the folks here in Dodge. They are our family. Matt has proven that many times. When he has gone after children who went missing, stopped outlaws from burning down our town, offered up his own life to save everyone else's.

And yes he's been angry with me when I've put myself in harm's way. But it was only when it was to protect my friends and Matt. I would never forgive myself if I ever stood by and let anything happen to him.

Now here I am, twenty five years later, sitting here alone in my room above the Long Branch in my chair by the window, with our lamp lit as usual. Waiting. Waiting, as I always do. And wondering will this be the time that…

Then my thoughts wander back to the days of mother wanting me to be the proper lady of New Orleans.  
Now I think, "Mother Dear, I don't know if you would approve of your little girls life but Mother I am a lady. I am a good and decent lady. I am loved. I have a good life and good friends. I have what is important in this life.

I'll admit this life was hard. No, it wasn't easy. But I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't change not one day. That day in the café, I know I made the right decision. It was the decision made by my heart.

Now, sitting here, the flame slowly burning down, a slight sadness whelms over me. My heart is growing heavy. Slowly, I just rest my eyes.

As the lamp burns down, "I love you, Matthew Dillon," in a whisper.

Early the next morning, a knock on the door. "Miss Kitty, are you awake?"

No answer.

Sam opens the door only to see the peaceful body of his beloved boss/friend in the chair next to the window. Still waiting for the love of her life, who has been gone for several years now. As Sam approached her, with warm tears streaming down his face, "You're together again."

Fini


End file.
